The Inner Critic

Psychologists Hal and Sidra Stone say that the inner critic makes absolute pronouncements as though it has the truth of heaven behind it. It is for this reason that it is initially difficult to separate from the critic's voice. We think it is all encompassing...it this voice is all of us...it is God or our parents speaking and condemning us.

It is helpful to see that underneath the critic's voice is a fear of shame and of not being good enough. Our entire society is based on perfectionism, of having the right things, of looking good. To give ourselves the permission to be human and to know we are doing our best given our current emotional circumstances and life situation is a relief.

Luckily all parts of life are simply energy with a dark and light side. The positive side of the critic is that it is extremely discerning and able to analyze everything. We could reassign it to be a firm but benevolent inner coach urging us forward. It keeps us on track and does not let us get off with the job half done. It has focus and discipline. We can see clearly where we need to grow. With the inner critic applied in balance we can pull up our socks and move forward in a focused way.

It is extremely helpful to keep a journal for a while and record your inner critic's voice. What is it telling you on an ongoing basis?

Ask yourself:

Is this inner criticism valid or just plain cruel?

Where did the criticism come from? My parents? Society?

Am I allowing myself to be human?

Is there a shred of truth to my inner criticism?

What part of the criticism is true? How could I take a gentle step forward?