The Inner Critic

We are all made up of different selves and as I have noticed as I become more conscious, I see that each part of myself has it's own distinct reality that will sometimes take over my life completely. One part of myself that I do not like to look at fully is the underground voice of my inner critic.

Recently I have been paying close attention to the critical voice in my head. It is by no means all of me. I have been watching how the not good enough voice seeps under my days and without realizing it I begin to lose my motivation to move forward...and my vital creative energy and life force begins to slip away.

While this inner voice may seem ridiculously harsh to some it is important to know that each part of our personality acts like it's own separate personality with it's own thoughts, feelings and dreams. Psychologists Hal and Sidra Stone say that the inner critic makes absolute pronouncements as though it has the truth of heaven behind it. It is for this reason that it is initially difficult to separate from the critic's voice. We think it is all encompassing...it this voice is all of us...it is God or our parents speaking and condemning us.

It is helpful to see that underneath the critic's voice is a fear of shame and of not being good enough. Our entire society is based on perfectionism, of having the right things, of looking good. To give ourselves the permission to be human and to know we are doing our best given our current emotional circumstances and life situation is a relief.

Luckily all parts of life are simply energy with a dark and light side. I remember growing up and saying to my family that I wished we would all be more honest with each other. "Why would we want to criticize each other?" was the response. Although I did not want to be harshly criticized, I think I was looking to be reflected honestly. In my family we would only compliment each other and I felt a huge gap in learning how to relate to others in a constructive way. As I have grown older I find that even the the harshest criticism from the outside or the inside serves to raise my integrity and impeccability. If I am willing to look at it with courage there is always a step forward I can take.

The positive side of the critic is that it is extremely discerning and able to analyze everything. We could reassign it to be a firm but benevolent inner coach urging us forward. It keeps us on track and does not let us get off with the job half done. It has focus and discipline. We can see clearly where we need to grow. With the inner critic applied in balance we can pull up our socks and move forward in a focused way.

It is extremely helpful to keep a journal for a while and record your inner critic's voice. What is it telling you on an ongoing basis?

Ask yourself:

Is this inner criticism valid or just plain cruel?

Where did the criticism come from? My parents? Society?

Am I allowing myself to be human?

Is there a shred of truth to my inner criticism?

What part of the criticism is true? How could I take a gentle step forward?