Healing Story: "Dear Daughters"
A “life” story you ask?
I wish I could tell you my life was pure like crystal clear water from a mountain stream, or strong like a sunflower growing tall towards the light. But, unfortunately it is neither, as experiences have blemished and bent me. My life is a bluebell, blending light and shade, bending as I grow…
My childhood was a mix of mean monsters and beautiful butterflies. Sometimes there was little light, and I was alone and scared to fight. But when the light grew bright, my dreams soared…. and I was lucky, for sparkling skies assured me to believe.
To believe that I was loved. That I was good. That I was free, and that I could build the life I wanted for me.
So as I grew from seedling to adult, my roots deepened and my petals blossomed: inky blues fluttering in the breeze. Confidence and courage crept through my stem and soul, and the darkness became faint as I started to paint. Art helped me to heal, art helped me to see, see through the darkness, and how to be me.
But just as the darkness had almost gone, I realised I couldn’t do, what I thought all women were supposed to do. I couldn’t have a baby in the normal way. I felt I had failed, I felt scared and sad, the longing to be a mummy was so bad…
I kept on growing though, through the shade, my roots resilient, my petals proud, my soul stronger than I thought. Sparkling stars sustained their light…. guiding me to believe. And I began a 10 year journey to have all of you you…. my 3 beautiful girls. The journey was emotional, invisible, and long. I kept on walking, working, willing myself strong. Sometimes in the darkness I’d let tears come. But belief kept me going, and even through the loss, and I learned that being a mummy, is not about what happens in your tummy.
And now I am a mummy to you, my 3 gorgeous girls. Every minute of every day, I am brimming with happiness and maternal love. Now looking back, I’m thankful there was darkness and winding roads, not just light and straight highways. Darkness has shown me how to appreciate and love…and brighter are the lights from the stars above.
So my daughters, as you grow, your stems will strengthen and your petals will bloom. As you flutter in the winds, I hope you meet butterflies, and that too many monsters won’t pass by. And if there is darkness, I hope there is light. That you can weave through the shade and find your way.
And I want you to know that you are always loved. That you are all good, and you are all free. And you can build your lives the way you want them to be.
So there’s a short story about my life. We are not all sunflowers, big bold and bright. Some of us are bluebells bowing beautifully in dappled sunlight. We are all different. We are all unique….so whatever beautiful flower you grow to be-
Always Believe- Mummy
“I cannot imagine not creating artwork of some form. Art and creativity are integral to life and living. Living and life are integral to inspiration.” - Eleanor
Eleanor is an art therapist and creative activist working with children, young people and families.
Eleanor encourages children to discover and connect with materials and modalities, which allows them to develop their self-expression, esteem and identity.
Eleanor is the founder of “Fairy Mission”, a community project that offers opportunities for creative collaboration between children and their families. “Cotton Can” is a story about disability produced by Fairy Mission. The story integrates child-adult narration and illustration, and aims to increase understanding of disability. “Cotton Can” can be viewed at www.cottoncan.com
Please contact Eleanor via her website: www.fairymission.com