I was born in Germany in 1962. Since childhood, I have loved to paint. In my youth I dreamed of one day becoming an artist, but then I became more focused in the natural sciences. I have always had very good grades in school and my teachers have encouraged me in geology. At the age of 16 - 1978 - I had a very serious traffic accident, which I miraculously survived - I was riding a bicycle and a right-turning big truck missed me and hit me with the rear two wheels.
Usually one would die in such an accident, but I was very lucky. For one, the truck was empty, and as a woman has a stronger pelvis. In addition, my bike has protected me, which was partly on top of me. Furthermore, I had previously attended a course in autogenic training, where I learned to maintain circulation and avoid shock, which I have applied immediately after the accident. In fact, many casualties do not die of their injuries, but of shock. I only had a simple pelvic fracture and did not even have to undergo surgery.
Since then, I have been intensively seeking my destiny for my life, and I have become interested in spiritual things. Since then I have also become very interested in environmental protection. I pray a lot to find work in this area. But life always comes differently as you think. It was not just the accident that was already hard enough to handle, I've experienced many more dire and dangerous situations in my life.
At eighteen, after graduation, I was with three friends on a sailing trip in the Danish Baltic Sea, where we got into a storm and broke the sail, the rudder broke and the boat was full of water. It was already dark and no land in sight to the horizon. We all said goodbye to life back then, but here, too, higher powers seemed to be involved, because at the very last minute the waves got smaller. We were able to reach the wave mountain with a little engine and arrive just in time to a harbor.
Over the next few years, I've come back to more dangerous and life-threatening situations, and I've said goodbye to life five times at least. I've been in great danger at least ten times. But I am still alive today and I am healthy. But I had a lot of mental damage. Several times in my life I have also seriously ill and have twice been in a psychiatric hospital, and have received many medications.
I have had many long periods in my life where I hardly wanted to live, but an inner voice has always encouraged me to hold on - telling me that better times will come again. I almost always aim to do a little bit better each day, and I continue to create more elaborate pictures, sometimes just starting with simple quick sketches. Sometimes I do not paint for several years, but would then I always start again.
My paintings give me new strength and courage in life. I have successfully studied art in spite of massive psychological problems. Yet, I am always looking in vain for work. Nonetheless I continue to pursue my passions. In my passion for environmental protection, I used to engage in groups, now I am writing petitions. Currently I have set up a website about the death of wild bees called: www.bee-leaks.com.
Since my mid-twenties I feel as though that I have been accompanied by one or more great guardian angels and sometimes also have visions during the day or at night in dreams that later become reality. This scared me initially, now I've learned to live with it.
Last fall, I began to create small books with coloring guides and colored drawings that I hope will help other mentally ill people build a better sense of self. I want people to learn how to be creative - everyone in their own way. I just want to be a source of inspiration for people and not a teacher.
Here is the website where links to my paintings, blog and videos: